Slow down!!!!
Slow Down!!!!! You do to much, you let your child do to much, you run yourself ragged, you take on too much, you can't handle all that, you overwhelm yourself.....those are things I hear, ALL THE TIME! I am involved in a lot of stuff and I do get overwhelmed from time to time but that should never be a reason that stops me from being determined or successful!
My goals change every now and then. They even grow from season to season in life. My goal 5 years ago was to get a college degree before I turned 30. Yes, I said 30....embarrassing right? Who doesn't have a college degree before the age of 30?!!! There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't tell myself....Girl get yo life together!!!! A little background history though, not very many of my family members have graduated college or even attended college for that matter. I did not have the long line of doctors, lawyers, business executives, or even nurses to follow in their foot steps. It just wasn't my family norm, but I knew if I had an education no one could take that away from me. I have lost a lot in life, which will be another blog at a later date, but I was going to get a degree and no one could SLOW ME DOWN!
That all seems pretty simple right, of course it does to the average person. Going to school is something that a lot of people do. I was a single parent, so I knew that it would be harder than the average but I did not expect it to be as hard as the reality of it was. Did I know there were going to be countless nights of homework, lack of sleep, and pure exhaustion?..... absolutely! During school I ended up working more jobs at once than I ever have in life. I would get up at 3a to be at work from 4a, work til 8a then I would attend class from 8:30a for a couple hours then go back to work to finish my shift. I also worked a evening job, sometimes until 12a. Keep in mind I was a single parent, my daughter had to do this all with me. She didn't have a choice to wake up that early and she didn't have a choice to go to be that late. We did not have a routine or schedule and the exhaustion was just as real for her, as it was for myself. One night in particular, I remember her being in the bathtub and I didn't hear a sound so I called her name.... no answer came from the bathroom. It worried me so I went in there to check on her, she had laid back and fallen asleep. Immediately I say her name in a panic, she is startled and wakes up. After that, I never put more than a small amount of water in her tub. I was scared she would fall asleep and drown. How could I ever do that to my child.... how could I be so selfish? I asked myself that all the time, is this worth it? Is getting my life together for my child even worth risking her life from the exhaustion. Of course it's not but I didn't let that slow me down, I just changed the way I was doing things. I continued school, I studied hard, and I graduated 3 years ago. YAY! I got my life together.... or did I???
After graduation, I immediately started working at a big hospital and drove over an hour for work. I was dropping my daughter off at a best friend's house by 4a. My friend would get my daughter ready for school, feed her breakfast, and put her on the school bus. After school, she would get her off the bus, feed her a snack, have my daughter do her homework, and feed her dinner. After dinner, I would have another best friend take my daughter back to my house to shower and get in bed before I ever got home from work. At this time, my daughter entered Jr High. She was very active in sports and school. Softball, volleyball, cheer, tumbling, band, honors club and anything else that came along. Could I have made her cut back from some of the things she did, of course I could have! I didn't want to though, while she stayed active she has always maintained straight A's in school. Straight A's while being that active...what more could I ask for???? I have an amazing child, and til this day I don't know how she does it. The days were hectic and it became harder and hard to find someone to take her to practice or be present for awards she received for activities. These things might not be a big deal to other people but day after day, I had someone else raising my child. A child that I told myself I would be the best mom I could be for. That is something I promised myself, its not like other's knew that, it took a lot of self battle and heartbreak to realize that something I worked so hard for was going to be taken away from me. I knew, I needed to be home for my daughter. I knew, I was going to have to quit my dream job. I did what I had to do! I decided to be a mother before I ever decided to get a college education, so being a "Present" mom was something I was not willing to sacrifice. I quit my job and came home.
I found a job close to home, nothing related to my degree. This job wasn't ideal for my situation but I laid it all out there and had faith that everything would work out. Quickly after that, I transitioned into a solid position. Keep in mind this was never something I thought I would be doing for a career, so at times I feel a little lost. I struggle with trying to figure out how to advance, I want more. How in the world can I be right back where I was 5 years ago??? Do I go back to school???...AGAIN?! I feel like I have failed myself and my child because I am not using my degree I worked so hard for and to be honest I have even had people express that in other forms of words to me. People tell me all the time, slow down and enjoy the simple life! I am not so sure about that but God has created a path with no indication of where it will lead but I know that it is not a path of SLOWING DOWN!
I wonder all the time what other's have been through in life. Do they use their degrees, did they go back to school for a second time, do they feel like they have failed as a person/parent, or even failed their child?......because here I am again telling myself "GIRL GET YO LIFE TOGETHER!"
My goals change every now and then. They even grow from season to season in life. My goal 5 years ago was to get a college degree before I turned 30. Yes, I said 30....embarrassing right? Who doesn't have a college degree before the age of 30?!!! There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't tell myself....Girl get yo life together!!!! A little background history though, not very many of my family members have graduated college or even attended college for that matter. I did not have the long line of doctors, lawyers, business executives, or even nurses to follow in their foot steps. It just wasn't my family norm, but I knew if I had an education no one could take that away from me. I have lost a lot in life, which will be another blog at a later date, but I was going to get a degree and no one could SLOW ME DOWN!
That all seems pretty simple right, of course it does to the average person. Going to school is something that a lot of people do. I was a single parent, so I knew that it would be harder than the average but I did not expect it to be as hard as the reality of it was. Did I know there were going to be countless nights of homework, lack of sleep, and pure exhaustion?..... absolutely! During school I ended up working more jobs at once than I ever have in life. I would get up at 3a to be at work from 4a, work til 8a then I would attend class from 8:30a for a couple hours then go back to work to finish my shift. I also worked a evening job, sometimes until 12a. Keep in mind I was a single parent, my daughter had to do this all with me. She didn't have a choice to wake up that early and she didn't have a choice to go to be that late. We did not have a routine or schedule and the exhaustion was just as real for her, as it was for myself. One night in particular, I remember her being in the bathtub and I didn't hear a sound so I called her name.... no answer came from the bathroom. It worried me so I went in there to check on her, she had laid back and fallen asleep. Immediately I say her name in a panic, she is startled and wakes up. After that, I never put more than a small amount of water in her tub. I was scared she would fall asleep and drown. How could I ever do that to my child.... how could I be so selfish? I asked myself that all the time, is this worth it? Is getting my life together for my child even worth risking her life from the exhaustion. Of course it's not but I didn't let that slow me down, I just changed the way I was doing things. I continued school, I studied hard, and I graduated 3 years ago. YAY! I got my life together.... or did I???
After graduation, I immediately started working at a big hospital and drove over an hour for work. I was dropping my daughter off at a best friend's house by 4a. My friend would get my daughter ready for school, feed her breakfast, and put her on the school bus. After school, she would get her off the bus, feed her a snack, have my daughter do her homework, and feed her dinner. After dinner, I would have another best friend take my daughter back to my house to shower and get in bed before I ever got home from work. At this time, my daughter entered Jr High. She was very active in sports and school. Softball, volleyball, cheer, tumbling, band, honors club and anything else that came along. Could I have made her cut back from some of the things she did, of course I could have! I didn't want to though, while she stayed active she has always maintained straight A's in school. Straight A's while being that active...what more could I ask for???? I have an amazing child, and til this day I don't know how she does it. The days were hectic and it became harder and hard to find someone to take her to practice or be present for awards she received for activities. These things might not be a big deal to other people but day after day, I had someone else raising my child. A child that I told myself I would be the best mom I could be for. That is something I promised myself, its not like other's knew that, it took a lot of self battle and heartbreak to realize that something I worked so hard for was going to be taken away from me. I knew, I needed to be home for my daughter. I knew, I was going to have to quit my dream job. I did what I had to do! I decided to be a mother before I ever decided to get a college education, so being a "Present" mom was something I was not willing to sacrifice. I quit my job and came home.
I found a job close to home, nothing related to my degree. This job wasn't ideal for my situation but I laid it all out there and had faith that everything would work out. Quickly after that, I transitioned into a solid position. Keep in mind this was never something I thought I would be doing for a career, so at times I feel a little lost. I struggle with trying to figure out how to advance, I want more. How in the world can I be right back where I was 5 years ago??? Do I go back to school???...AGAIN?! I feel like I have failed myself and my child because I am not using my degree I worked so hard for and to be honest I have even had people express that in other forms of words to me. People tell me all the time, slow down and enjoy the simple life! I am not so sure about that but God has created a path with no indication of where it will lead but I know that it is not a path of SLOWING DOWN!
I wonder all the time what other's have been through in life. Do they use their degrees, did they go back to school for a second time, do they feel like they have failed as a person/parent, or even failed their child?......because here I am again telling myself "GIRL GET YO LIFE TOGETHER!"
I went back and graduated at 42. You go girl
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